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Active-duty Army SGM admits to strangling spouse
First it was irritating, then it was confusing. My husband would do hateful things; especially while he was drinking. I would go to him the next day, while he was sober to have an adult conversation with him about what happened and resolve it. It was rare that he would ever actually participate as an adult in a mature relationship – normally he would deflect to tell me all of the things I have ever done wrong, tell me that I was confused and lying – that it was actually me that was doing those things, create an entirely new story, or explain why I made him have to punish…
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Example of abusers manipulation and confidence in his manipulation
A common practice in Family Court and divorce settlements is including gag-order clauses. The intent of these clauses is to protect the child (if there are any) from having one parent bash the other, or finding one parent’s Facebook post bashing their other parent. Seems reasonable. The problem is if there is domestic violence in the relationship. Gag Orders where there is domestic violence silences and hurts the victim while protecting the abuser. I was not in a place to tell anyone what had been happening in my relationship with my husband, how crazy it had become in the last couple of years, what was going on at the latest…
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Letting go of things, finding calm
I have been going through my divorce for almost six month now, and the date for the divorce hearing is in two more months, August 11, 2023. The only thing that I have been super focused on wanting is “my stuff”. My husband is active-duty Army. The Army has a regulation that mandates my husband has to give me a certain amount of money each month (if I’m not living in housing provided by him) until the divorce. There are also other benefits that my lawyer could ask he give me; but, the money was never important to me. What I was holding onto so tightly as direly important, were…
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Why you should start video-journaling
I started video journaling in 2020 or 2021 when I was just too down in the dumps to be bothered to write in my journal, everything felt so overwhelming that I did not even know where to start writing, and I just wanted someone to talk to. I had picked up writing in a journal just before my video-journaling. Handwriting in the journal itself was a bit cathartic for me. I liked to see my cursive pen in the book and I liked the feeling of having a pen that wrote smoothly over the notebook pages. I had thought to start keeping an electronic journal because the handwriting was definitely…
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Anger is often a warning system it tells us something is wrong
A lot of days are shocking, overwhelming, confusing. I have trouble focusing on the task at hand. I have trouble falling asleep and getting back to sleep if I wake in the night. All I want to do, is to shut my brain off. I want to be able to sit and focus on research for an article, I want to be able to watch a television show, I want to be able to focus on the conversation I am having, I want to be able to remember to think of God and pray each day, and…I want to be able to complete a simple article … …but my brain…
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Airing dirty laundry?
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The Army increasingly allows soldiers charged with violent crimes to leave the military rather than face trial
The Army increasingly allows soldiers charged with violent crimes to leave the military rather than face trial By Vianna Davila, Lexi Churchill and Ren Larson, The Texas Tribune and ProPublica, and Davis Winkie, Military TimesApril 10, 2023 “The Army increasingly allows soldiers charged with violent crimes to leave the military rather than face trial” was first published by The Texas Tribune, a nonprofit, nonpartisan media organization that informs Texans — and engages with them — about public policy, politics, government and statewide issues. This article is co-published with ProPublica, a nonprofit newsroom that investigates abuses of power, and with Military Times, an independent news organization reporting on issues important to…
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Murdered Marine Corp. Sgt’s wife posted issues with reporting violence to military on YouTube
I had just arrived in El Paso, Texas after having been stationed in Hawai’i for three years when I saw the feeds on my Facebook about the murder of Dana Alotaibi along the H-3 highway in Hawai’i. There was a large amount of chatter about Alotaibi and her ex-husband, Marine Corp Sergeant, Bryant Tejeda-Castillo in chat-boxes across platforms. I was pretty shocked to see people were unabashedly claiming that she deserved what happened to her because of her lifestyle and also lamenting remorse for her murderer because he must have simply been pushed to the brink by her lifestyle and attempts to “hurt his career”. Alotaibi had a fairly large…
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Gofundme: Dana Alotaibi
Organized by: Natalia Cespedes (Mother of Dana Alotaibi) Marine Corps wife, allegedly murdered by her active duty Marine Corp ex-husband while stationed in Hawai’i in 2022. Gofundme description below (English is posters second-language). Please remember that GWG shares fundraisers from known sites, but we do not vet the validity of the requester – as with on the original site – it is up to the donor to review, research, and decide if this is where you would like your money to go. “Hi, my name is Natalia mother of dana, unfortunately my daughter was kill by his husband, she was 9 weeks pregnant. She wanted to return home since she…
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Airing dirty laundry?
Man, oh man, this website is always popping into my brain to toss me a bit of anxiety each day. I struggle often with how I want this website to function, what is helpful versus what is just hatefulness, and so much more. I would imagine almost everyone in their lifetime have had terrible things happen, great friends stab them in the back, and overall disgusting and unfair bullshit dealt them at the hands of another person. I think we are judged on how we handle those trials in life, and we respect the people who can turn the other cheek, who can look the other way, let God do…
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Report to Congress Show Army leads Military Branches in Domestic Violence; Servicemember Bias and Negative Repercussions are Reported as a Barriers to Reporting.
May 24, 2023 “The U.S. Government Accountability Office (GOA), often called the ‘congressional watchdog,’ is an independent, non-partisan agency that works for Congress. GAO examines how taxpayer dollars are spent and provides Congress and federal agencies with objective, non-partisan, fact-based information to help the government save money and work more efficiently.” In 2021, GOA released a report analyzing: the military services’ efforts to prevent and respond to domestic abuse. GAO: In GAO’s Watchdog Report, Brenda Farrell, a director in GAO’s Defense Capabilities and Management Team state that the DOD had not collected nor reported accurate and complete data on domestic abuse as required by law. She states that it is…
