Murdered Marine Corp. Sgt’s wife posted issues with reporting violence to military on YouTube

I had just arrived in El Paso, Texas after having been stationed in Hawai’i for three years when I saw the feeds on my Facebook about the murder of Dana Alotaibi along the H-3 highway in Hawai’i.

There was a large amount of chatter about Alotaibi and her ex-husband, Marine Corp Sergeant, Bryant Tejeda-Castillo in chat-boxes across platforms. I was pretty shocked to see people were unabashedly claiming that she deserved what happened to her because of her lifestyle and also lamenting remorse for her murderer because he must have simply been pushed to the brink by her lifestyle and attempts to “hurt his career”.

Alotaibi had a fairly large presence on internet platforms, like YouTube and Tik Tok. She also spoke about having an Only Fans Account and her YouTube has links to Instagram and a website. A lot of the news articles referenced her YouTube channel where she spoke of her husband’s abuse and cheating, a video where she called a national domestic hotline for help but was disconnected in the middle of her desperate call, and multiple videos where she referenced individuals in her husband’s chain of command that she had reached out to for help but she felt were ignoring her to protect her husband. I searched for, watched, and rewatched those videos feeling some unknown connection.

I don’t know why I was continually drawn to her story and those videos. We have virtually zero in common, save being in toxic relationships with an abusive partner and our partners being in the military. At the time of watching those videos, I had not reached out to military channels about the abuse, with the exception of the chaplain in Alabama who knew about my claiming he was an alcoholic. If I had to put words to my draw, I think it was her raw emotions of sadness, defeat, overwhelm, wanting your spouse to actually care for and protect you; and the frustration that these military members are beyond reproach and viewed as heroes to, while- as a military spouse you are a worthless annoyance in the military’s eyes.

I think back on Dana’s videos when I think I need to remove the “Video Journal” section. Her videos are a reminder to me, that maybe my videos will resonate with someone else – that will start to open their minds to what is going on in their worlds. Hopefully the future watchers will be much quicker to catch on, understand, and walk away than Dana or myself.

Dana’s Videos are still up. The story seems to have taken a nose-dive off of a cliff only a month after her death. I circle-back to follow-up on the many unanswered questions – but I find nothing. I did follow-up with three of the original investigative reporters on O’ahu. I’ll be interested to see if there are any answers to: Where is First Sergeant Kern, who she named as being unhelpful and unfair to her, while in her eyes protecting her husband? Did the autopsy confirm she was pregnant? If she was pregnant, are there additional charges for the baby? Is Tejeda-Castillo out on bond? Is Dana’s body back with her family in Virginia? Has this tragedy had any impact of how reports of domestic abuse are handled within the military or civilian worlds?

Linked is one of the last reports and a couple of her YouTube videos. NOTE: Dana is a polar-personality. You will not find a “perfect box with a pretty, neat bow” in her journey.