Military on Abuse

I followed my active-duty US Army soldier from South Korea to Alabama, to Hawai’i, to Texas. I was mostly kept separate from all things military. Even after being married, I had no idea the resources that were available to me, nor to our family for help and to ease the burdens of moving and restarting life.  It wasn’t until our last move to El Paso, Texas where I found in an orientation packet which listed information on “Support Resources”. I immediately put this newfound information to use.

In my time with my husband, I reached out to the following Army resources for HELP regarding his extreme alcoholism, his abuse, and how to leave him with no money of my own: Military OneSource, Military & Family Life Counseling, Family Advocacy Program, my Husband’s Chain of Command, *JAG, and a Chaplain. Not one of these resources helped me. Not one of these resources told me what I was telling them was unequivocally not okay. Not one of these resources directed me to programs that could help or how to report my husband to military or civilian law. The only time one of these groups was actively “helping”, was when FAP received my arrest report – and then blew up my phone and email to get “justice” for my husband at the hands of my abuse (insert dripping sarcasm and eye-rolls here).

I had someone ask me how I think my husband got this way. To me, the United States Army is actively grooming young soldiers to be violent offenders and sexual predators. The Army has worked diligently to protect their soldier when provable claims were brought up. These are affirmations to the soldier to continue their current behavior and that their behavior path is the correct one. The wrong messages are being reaffirmed to this soldier who is in turn showing the next generations of soldiers his behavior and his actions. It is a breeding-bed of offenders.

*Jag did email me a list of civilian lawyers that may offer discount or free consultations to spouses, along with information on a program to apply for money. But, the military-law-fluent program was unable to help b/c my husband’s ranking was too high.